Who are you trying to please?

Matthew 6:1-24

Last week in the sermon from Matthew 5 I talked about the Kingdom of God and this week we need again to be reminded about what the Kingdom of God is because without an understanding of the Kingdom of God, the teaching of Jesus becomes less effective in our lives. This is because we either view the teaching of Jesus as an ideal we can never reach and dismiss it for the here and now or because we view it as too difficult and reserve this teaching for the enlightened few, perhaps for some monks living away from the real world.

But I have some news for you. However it is you feel about the teaching of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, it is not a bad idea for you to become familiar with the Kingdom of God because if you are a Christian, this is going to be your next destination. And it is not a bad idea for you to become familiar with the Kingdom of God because for the last two thousand years this kingdom has been intruding into the lives of those who live in the kingdom of this world and it is advancing as I speak.

We live in the tension of the Kingdom of God as a future reality when it is also a present reality. Jesus has been declared to be king but he has not yet sat down on his throne. The devil has been defeated but he has not yet been cast into oblivion. The Kingdom of God has not yet arrived but it is already present. We see the Kingdom of God in part but we will one day see it in its entirety.

There is a spiritual battle taking place between God and the devil and in our four dimensional world we see evidence of this from time to time. As the Kingdom of God advances, the battle is engaged. With each generation, the battle is renewed and as each person is born that person becomes a point of attack. God works to bring each new person born into this world into his kingdom and the devil works to prevent this from happening. God cares deeply about each person born and his love works for our benefit. The devil cares nothing about any of us. He seeks only to destroy what God loves.

Over the centuries there have been victories and defeats. There are some who reach out and accept God’s help to be saved and those who reject that offer. From our four dimensional world perspective, the church has been strong at times and weak at others. Sometimes the churches of the world have been full and sometimes they have been empty, being turned into museums or community centers.

But from the perspective of the Kingdom of God, every victory builds the kingdom and that victory has eternal value. Here at RIC we see people come and go. We currently have 60% fewer affiliate members in the church than we did three years ago. But unlike RIC, the Kingdom of God never loses members. The Kingdom of God only gains members because membership in the Kingdom of God is eternal membership. When we accept God’s gift of salvation and enter into the Kingdom of God, we stand with all the saints of the church from all of time who have similarly accepted God’s gift of salvation.

We marvel at the diversity of our church with people from many continents, many races, many denominations. Just wait until we see the makeup of the members of the Kingdom of God with representatives from all continents, all races, all sorts of religious backgrounds and all of time. Speaking for myself, I can’t wait.

While we see an ebb and flow to the church, the Kingdom of God grows from strength to strength.

The Kingdom of God had long been promised by the prophets and then it came with the ministry of Jesus. Each healing of Jesus, each demonic deliverance, each miracle of Jesus was a victory for the Kingdom of God as it intruded into this world. Jesus demonstrated the Kingdom of God with his actions and then he taught us about the Kingdom of God.

We need to pay attention to this teaching because as living stones in the building of the Kingdom of God, we need to know how to behave, what to expect, how to live in this kingdom into which we are entering. The sermon on the Mount is a guidebook that tells us how to live in the Kingdom of God that intrudes into this world and will be our future, eternal home.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the teachings of Jesus about the Kingdom of God in Matthew 6. There is teaching on giving to the needy, praying, fasting, storing up treasure in heaven and then being salt and light.

When I read through this chapter, what struck me was the differentiation between private and public actions. Here in Morocco we live in a culture that makes a big distinction between the two. What is actually true about a situation is not as important as the public presentation about that situation. So wealth is displayed at marriages even when the wealth does not exist. People may know that the wealth does not exist, but the public demonstration of wealth is what counts.

It may be that a woman who is to be married is not a virgin and everyone knows she is not a virgin but as long as evidence after the marriage is given that demonstrates she is a virgin, everyone is happy.

The teaching of Jesus about the Kingdom of God turns this on its head. When you give to the needy, taught Jesus, don’t make a big deal about it, making sure everyone knows about your generosity. When you pray, pray in a private spot, not out in public where everyone is sure to see what you are doing. When you fast, don’t make it obvious that you are fasting.

Rather than making sure the public world knows what you are doing, Jesus teaches us to pull our public actions into the private world.

Why is it someone would make public his giving to the needy or praying or fasting? What is to be gained by making public these actions? It seems to me that it all centers on the question, Who am I trying to please? Whose approval am I seeking?

It is not a bad thing to try to please someone. If you are married, working to please your spouse is a good thing. If you want to get a promotion and a raise at work, working to please your employer is a good thing.

It is interesting that when I went on the internet and looked for sites that talk about the need for approval, most of the sites viewed this as a negative thing. But the need for approval is not a sign of weakness. We are created with the need for approval and it does no good to deny this. Needing approval is part of who we are.

I hear from people that they appreciate some of the things I do. Perhaps it is preaching a sermon or opening my home for weddings or meetings. People tell me that it is wonderful what I do and I respond that it is my privilege to do what I do. I act as if I do not need this affirmation but deep down, like all of us I suspect, there is a deep hunger for affirmation and the affirmation I receive from others is always insufficient. Receiving thanks from others is like shooting a toy water pistol at a raging fire. The fire will not be put out by a few words of appreciation. I want this affirmation and much, much more.

Garrison Keillor in his book Lake Wobegon Days wrote about a man who returned to his childhood home and wanted to nail to the door of the Lutheran Church his 95 Theses, complaints about how he was raised. This is thesis #34:
For fear of what it might do to me, you never paid a compliment, and when other people did, you beat it away from me with a stick. “He certainly is looking nice and grown up.” He’d look a lot nicer if he did something about his skin. “That’s wonderful that he got that job.” Yeah, well, we’ll see how long it lasts. You trained me so well, I now perform this service for myself. I deflect every kind work directed to me, and my denials are much more extravagant than the praise. “Good speech.” Oh, it was way too long, I didn’t know what I was talking about, I was just blathering on and on, I was glad when it was over. I do this under the impression that it is humility, a becoming quality in a person. Actually, I am starved for a good word, but after the long drought of my youth, no word is quite good enough. “Good” isn’t enough. Under this thin veneer of modesty lies a monster of greed. I drive away faint praise, beating my little chest, waiting to be named Sun-God, King of America, Idol of Millions, Bringer of Fire, The Great Haji, Thun-dar The Boy Giant, I don’t want to say, “Thanks, glad you liked it.” I want to say, “Rise, my people. Remove your faces from the carpet, stand, look me in the face.”

Garrison Keillor is a wonderful writer and what makes him so wonderful, in part, is that he writes so accurately about the human condition. I find this thesis #34 funny because it is true. We would love to have that kind of praise. At least I would love to have that kind of praise.

Our need for approval is a good thing. In Jesus’ parable of the talents, the servants who used what they were given wisely were greeted with this affirmation,
Well done, good and faithful servant!
and when we read that, we long to have those words spoken about us.

Here, I think, is the key to understanding our deep need for approval. What we want in the depths of our being is to be affirmed and approved by God and so all other praise is inadequate. Water pistols do not put out forest fires. We need a heavenly deluge of rain to quench this fire. Our need for approval can only be fully satisfied by the words of affirmation spoken to us by God.

So it is good to need and want approval. Wanting and needing praise and approval is not wrong but here is where it gets us into trouble. When we want approval from someone, we do what that person wants us to do so we will get his or her approval. If we want to please someone, we do what will please them.

If you fall in love with someone, you do things you think will please them so they will return your affection. This explains why on a snowy December day thirty years ago, I once took off my sweater, shirt and undershirt to show Annie I was really Norwegian and unaffected by the cold. Some crazy things are done to try to please people.

Yesterday I was at a wedding and during the dancing, I noticed young girls watching intently the way the older women danced and then trying to imitate them. Why do they imitate the older women? Because they want to fit in. They want to be accepted. They want the approval of the older women.

This is the power of peer pressure. Our friends like or do something and we try so hard to fit in. There are gangs where you have to show how tough you are before you can join the gang and so you commit a robbery or some violent act to get the approval of the gang.

Our need for approval is a legitimate need but the danger is that we seek approval from the wrong source. Peer pressure is our need for approval run amok.

In Matthew 6:24 Jesus taught,
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

If you seek approval from the world you will be lead on a path of destruction. If you seek approval from God, you will be led on a path of life. And you have to choose one or the other.

What does the world value? How do you get the approval of the world? The world values money and power. So to gain the approval of the world, it is important to earn as much money as you can, and scheme to gain the maximum amount of power that you can.

If the world was all that there will ever be, this is not a bad idea. But all of us, Christian or not, will die and leave this world behind. Because this world is a temporary resting place for us and we are heading toward an eternal state, it is the wise person who seeks to please the one who will rule that eternal state. The wise person looks at the teaching of Jesus and begins now to practice what will be the rule of the future kingdom that is already intruding into our world.

So let’s run through the teaching of Jesus in this chapter.
So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,  4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Giving to the needy can be a good thing to do or a bad thing to do. Read the Gospels and the book of Acts and you discover that Jesus did not heal all the people he met who needed healing. The man born lame who begged at the gate called Beautiful was healed when Peter and John walked by but Jesus had walked by this man many times without healing him. Jesus was aware of purposes that ran far deeper than whether or not someone was healed or fed.

If I had the ability to heal people, I would heal everyone I met but God has purposes we know little about. We need be led by God when to give, how much to give and how to give.

This teaching is not essentially about giving to the needy. It is not essentially an instruction to always be secretive when we give. Sometimes public giving is a good thing such as when Paul took up a collection from the Gentile churches to help the church in Jerusalem. The philanthropy of Bill Gates is inspiring others to also be generous with their wealth.

The focus is not on whether or not we should give to the needy but what is our motive in giving.

Who are you trying to please when you give?

When David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband Uriah and the men with him in the battle, against who did he say he had sinned? (Psalm 51)
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight,

When we give to the needy, to whom are we giving? In Matthew 25 when Jesus taught using a parable about feeding the hungry, clothing the poor and visiting those in prison he said:
I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

When we give it is to God we give. Giving to the needy is not the most important thing. Giving as God directs is what is most important because it is God we want to please.

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Jesus is not teaching that we should never pray in public. He himself prayed in public when Lazarus was raised from the dead. The prayer he taught his disciples to pray begins with: Our father, not my father. This was meant to be a public prayer.

The question is who are you trying to please when you pray? Do you want everyone to know how spiritual you are when you pray? Do you want a public demonstration of how powerfully you can pray? Or maybe it is that you need to fulfill a public function and so pray because it is expected of you to pray. Your prayer becomes a way of pleasing the public that expects you to pray.

Praying in public should be approached fearfully. The question is not what do the people want to hear or what can I pray that will fulfill the expectations of those who asked me to pray. The question must be, Am I expressing the Father’s heart when I pray.

Prayer is meant to draw us closer to the heart love of God. Prayer is not a tool to use to impress the world.

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face,  18 so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Why is it you fast? The first time I fasted was when I was a new Christian in Boston and I wanted five people I had invited to come on a Christian retreat to accept the invitation. So I fasted for three days and at the end, none of those I had invited came.

Why do you fast? Is it to get something you want? You need money and so you fast so God will give you the money you need?

Why do you fast? Do you want to impress others with your spirituality? Do you want others to look up to you because you are able to deny your hunger?

Who are you trying to please? What are you seeking? We fast to open ourselves to the work of God in our lives. We fast to remind our flesh that it is not in control of our bodies. When we fast we turn our back on what the world has to offer and open ourselves to what God wants to do in our lives. When we deprive ourselves of the things of this world we are better able to see the things of the Kingdom of God.

We fast because we want a deeper, richer experience of God and because we desire to know more clearly his will for our lives.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Here it is in a nutshell. Where is the treasure you are accumulating being stored? If you walk into heaven with your pockets full of gold, all you will have is paving material for the streets of heaven. The praise of men will not make you rich in heaven.

The measure of your wealth will not be how many people came to your funeral and how many important people were there and how eloquent the eulogy was. The measure of your true wealth will be how many people greet you when you come into heaven.

I John 2:15-17
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.  17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

It is not easy to live a Christian life. It would be far easier if we had a simple list of things we were supposed to do and a list of things we were not supposed to do. But Christians are judged primarily by their motives for what they do. Christians are judged by their heart.

We say that you can judge a tree by the fruit it bears, and this is true. It is easy for someone to say what they believe but the proof of what they believe is revealed by what they do.

A deeper truth is that what we really believe is measured by our motives for our actions and these are difficult for us to see. Our motives for what we do gets down to the heart of our faith because it is here that God sees so clearly what is motivating our behavior. It is here that God sees our faith for what it really is.

I am glad you read your Bible and pray. I am glad you give money to the church. I am glad you help the needy. I am glad you come to church.

But who are you trying to please?